King’s Chair Status
“You’ve got some big feet.”
“Are you allowed to say that?” I replied, both of us now laughing.
“Watchu mean, girl! That’s literally my job,” he replied, plopping a pair of flippers on the dock in front of me.
“Everyone good to go? All right, follow me if you’re on the full day trip.”
I hustled to the end of the dock. The strength and speed that I would endure in these next few moments would decide my fate for the rest of the day. I was the second person on the boat and the first one was indecisive.
“This is King’s Chair Status,” I exclaimed, finding a nice loveseat equipped with a table and cupholders right behind the captain.
It wasn’t too far back that I would get splashed, but also not too far forward where I would be stuck in the beating sun, squinting my eyes all day. It was perfect.
“Okay! You got life jackets under your seats and a cooler of drinks back here that you can help yourself to. Otherwise, just holler at my lovely co-captain here and he will wait on you hand and foot,” he said, shooting a smirk to his friend that was untying the boat from the dock.
Arriving At Iguana Island
Our first destination on The Bahamas Day Trip was Bitter Guana Cay, better known as Iguana Island. I stepped back off the boat confidently, knowing that the unassigned-assigned seat was now mine for the day.
“Fruit! Get your fruit!” the captain shouted, handing over a handful of grapes, “Just roll them up, don’t hand it to them. They’ll bite your fingers.”
This seemed to be the theme of the day: Have fun, but don’t lose your fingers. The iguanas, the pigs and the sharks that we were about to meet all had the potential to mistake our nubby fingers for food.
I looked up at the small island. It was entirely populated by iguanas. There must have been hundreds, all different sizes. I rolled a grape up to the first one resting in the sand. The monster-like creature crept forward quickly, snatching the grape and scooping it into its jaws. He seemed very happy with his breakfast.
I leaned down closer to the iguana to get a better look, just as I felt a tail brush up against the back of my foot. Screaming, I jumped to the side. I was not ready to lose a toe yet, the day had barely started. I looked up to see the mischievous captain laughing. He had taken it upon himself to roll a grape up right behind me.
“Very funny,” I said, shooting him a look of revenge.
Meeting The King of Iguana Island
I continued on down the small beach away from the Grape Master’s hands and into a sea of iguanas. It was here that I found the real King’s Chair. Perched up on a rock jutting out of the sand was the largest iguana I’ve ever laid eyes on. His scaly tail wound around the rock like a snake while the Redwood Forest 2.0 sprouted down his spine. I could tell he didn’t have any competition when winning the grapes as his belly brushed against the rock, no matter how great his posture was.
I tossed a grape over to him, waiting to see his monster jaws clench down and crush the fruit, like I’ve seen alligators do with whole watermelon. Instead, he simply sat there in his throne without moving an inch. This must be the curse of having the best seat on the island. He couldn’t move. If he did, his throne would be taken from him. I began to wonder if his size had more to do his sedentary lifestyle than hoarding all of the grapes, when I heard the captain shout.
“Time to go! We’ve got lots to do today. Back on the boat, guys!”
Leaving Iguana Island
I turned away saying a quick goodbye to my fellow King’s Chair Status iguana and rushed back to the boat, now agreeing that my unassigned-assigned seat was free game. As I left footprints in the sand behind me, I watched as the iguanas scattered this way and that ahead of me. It reminded me of the way long grass sways in the wind, as if the ground was really moving. Wading through the clear Caribbean water, I hopped onto the boat, taking one last glance back at the slithering creatures on this mysterious island.
“Next stop: Pigs!” the captain shouted.
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